Meet your (rugby) heroes
The Rugby World Cup is starting in three days and I couldn't be more excited. If you didn't know, now you know. Make sure you tune in! First game kicks off on Friday, 22 August in the UK (Saturday morning here in Aotearoa) with England vs USA. The Black Ferns' first game is on Monday 25th at 4.30am (NZT) against Spain.
I don't get speechless very often. But in May this year, I got to be on the pitch after watching the Black Ferns play the USA.
Throughout the game, I screamed, yelled, cried, and screamed some more. But when it came time to walk on the field to meet the players after the final whistle, I was suddenly silent.
What do you say when you meet your heroes? In my case, barely anything.
Maiakawanakaulani Roos, a force to be reckoned with and the youngest player to have captained the Black Ferns (at age 21 in 2023) signed my poster. I was lost for words.
Star of 15-aside, sevens, and league as well as a triple gold medallist Stacey Waaka stopped right in front of me. She's nicknamed the smiling assassin for the way she's constantly grinning as she makes strong runs across the pitch.
Waaka asked who in the crowd played rugby. While I don't anymore, I did play for 16 years. But I could do nothing but stare and then momentarily shove my phone at her and of course ask her nicely for a selfie.
The crowd thinned a little and the hubbub started to die down. I motioned to my fiance: "shall we go?"
He was about to ask me if I was sure, but instead grabbed my arm: "Ilona Maher is coming!"
If you haven't heard of Maher, she's the US rugby star who rose to fame during the Paris Olympics 2024, as a member of the bronze medal winning US sevens team, and then as a finalist in last year's Dancing with the Stars. She has been taking the world by storm ever since.
Her commentary on body positivity while also helping educate the world on women's rugby is phenomenal. In July, she won the ESPY for Best Breakthrough Athlete and accepted the award with a killer speech.
And there she was, just metres from us, making her way around the gathered fans. When she was an arms reach away, I said: "Ilona, can I get a photo?" My partner, well prepared, snapped the picture perfectly as she put her arm around me.
Later, I would share the photo with a friend, telling her how nervous and shy I was that I couldn't say anything to Maher, let alone anyone else I met on the field.
"What?! You mean you didn't hit her with 100 journo questions?!" she asked.
No reader, I did not. In that moment, on the field, I was transported back to being a young girl, playing rugby in the countryside.
While the following is probably a story for another day, and not something I've ever spoken about so publicly before, it's worth acknowledging that those days were tough. From the age of nine to 11, being the only girl in a team where you weren't supported or taken seriously by both coaches and team mates has a pretty huge impact, both physically and mentally.
I know this experience can't be unique to me. Neither is what came next: fighting for women's rugby to be seen. Throughout high school, university, it was a battle to have our teams and competitions held on the same pedestal as our male counterparts - even when we were winning championships back to back.
The same went at every level, nationally, internationally. In my teens, I would have no idea where to go to watch a Black Ferns test or a Farah Palmer Cup match.
This was all despite the fact that Aotearoa is home to some of the greatest women's rugby players in the world. By 2017, they had won five out of the eight world cups that had ever been held.
But I, like so many, didn't know that. The visibility, support and the funding just wasn't there.
I've never understood it. The answer to me is simple: just show the games and people will watch. By denying the audience access, you're shutting the door on a whole group of people both who want to cheer on our players and their great mahi, as well as those who need or want the inspiration.
Like me. And the countless others who were looking for a sport, or a community or a role model.
Besides, it works. Last year, in a bid to challenge the coverage discrepancy, Kiwi telco 2degrees broadcast the final of the Super Rugby Aupiki between the Blues and Chiefs Manawa on TikTok. (I wrote about it here.)
People could discover the match while scrolling, and the stream gained 18,000 views and 6,000 comments, with people engaged and excited.
I remember in 2018 when NZ Rugby announced it would be awarding Black Ferns players professional contracts. (I wrote this article for University of Canterbury's student newspaper!)
Farah Palmer Cup (FPC) games gained more traction, and social media helped to amplify the voices of teams and players all across Aotearoa and the world.
The Super Rugby Aupiki began in 2022, a level between the provincial FPC games and the Black Ferns. Later that same year, Aotearoa was the host of the Rugby World Cup 2021, delayed by a year due to the Covid-19 lockdowns.
I will never forget that final match; the Black Ferns vs England's Red Roses. Seeing Eden Park sold out, with everyone there to cheer on the amazing wāhine toa on the field, was something else.
I was breathless and sobbing by the end, barely any voice left to sing along with Ruby Tui's rendition of Tūtira mai ngā iwi.
And in just a few short days, we all get to relive that energy all again.
Earlier this year, I heard the stat that girls are twice as likely to drop out of sport than boys. I don't think it's new information, but for someone who grew up knowing the importance of sport and the community it brings, it made me sad.
However, I hope the tide is starting to turn: with the likes of Maher, and our own Katelyn Vaha'akolo, Portia Woodman-Wickliffe and Ruby Tui, to name a few, who are all using their platforms to amplify the voice of women's rugby and increase the visibility for everyone.
I'm huge fans of them all: the way they show up with pride, humility and so much realism. The content they create on social is funny, wholesome and authentic, while also never shying away from the realities of being an athlete.
I will never stop laughing at this reel with Maher and Woodman-Wickliffe - the feels when the most impressive and intimidating player in the game returns from retirement.
But again that's the reason I felt so awestruck and lost for words when I met them on the field all those months ago - so much so that I'm still thinking about it to this day.
This is what it feels like to have heroes who make you feel seen.
