Dragon puppets

I've been thinking lately about creativity. Where it comes from and why, and how to access it when you need it.

There's an interesting tension you have as a writer, or in any artistic discipline, where you have to be creative on demand: producing work to a schedule because your livelihood depends on it.

Sometimes this is easy. You have an article due in two hours and you smash it out in half the time. It feels like one of the best things you've ever written.

Other times, you have an article due in two weeks and you don't have a single thought on how to begin. You stay up all night the day before the due date, wading through a jumble of your own words.

Sometimes, no matter how much you want it, the creativity is just not there.

The worst part is that there feels like there's no rhyme or reason to this cycle. And I even find it doesn't seem to matter if the schedule is work's or my own, the writer's block comes and go at will, despite the ideas constantly clamouring in my head.

I don't think a day goes by where I don't want to write something. But getting it down on paper sometimes feels like such a monumental task.

Lately, my writer's block has transformed into an attack on my self-esteem: I hold myself back from writing not due to a lack of inspiration but from fear that the thoughts won't be polished or coherent or that they'll sound stupid.

This is even knowing that my creativity doesn't have to be perfect, that it can just be an expression, that I can get the ideas down and come back to them later. I know that no first draft is ever perfect.

But sometimes no matter how much you tell yourself this, it doesn't stick.

A little reminder

So, you need people to remind you what creativity is really about. Over the Christmas holiday, my niece gave me the perfect reminder when she taught my fiancé and I to make dragon puppets out of paper.

At first, she apologised that it might take awhile to complete - we assured her that was no issue as we were enjoying the time with her. Besides how often as an adult do you get the time to just sit down and be present while making arts and crafts?

In all honesty, I actually have no idea how long we spent making the puppets. We got so lost in the moment.

Once she had shown us how to make our dragon puppets, we got to colour them in and adorn them however we like.

And while I like working with words, I've never been very adept at crafts or drawing. So, I will admit I was a little nervous about how my dragon might turn out.

But this experience showed me that it didn't matter.

What was important was learning something new, the freedom of expression, the ability to be creativity in a different way that I normally am, without a time limit or for any other reason that to spend time with my loved ones.

This moment was one of the highlights of my Christmas break. It was what it finally took for me to see how much the pressure I was putting on myself to be creative was actually holding me back from expressing myself.

Not just with my writing but with all the other parts of my life too, whether that was creating new workouts in the gym or trying new recipes in the kitchen.

So, I'm continually trying to look for moments that capture that feeling of creativity without pressure or expectation.

Writing here on Ghost is one of those ways and I want to be a lot more present here this year.

I want to end by thanking you for being here and reading this. Please let me know what hobbies fill your cup and help you feel creative - I'd love to hear about them!